Friday 24 August 2007

Stuff

George Carlin used to do a great routine about stuff and where to put it - unfortunately it never helped me figure out what to do with mine. As an artist, I know that certain things need to be kept for future art projects, but I never know where to put those things. This means stuff like scraps of ribbon, mismatched nuts and bolts, broken pieces of china, watches that don't work anymore and more plastic creepy crawlies than most people have seen in a life time are stashed in weird nooks and crannies all over my house. I just don't know where to put the stuff!

I learned the hard way not to ask my sister for help. One night when we were chatting on the phone, I asked her what she does with her plastic spiders. Two days later I got this in the mail:



Now I had to find a place to put something even larger than my plastic spider, cause now I had abox and all of her plastic spiders too! I usually end up putting the stuff I don't know what to do with in a bag. These bags then lie around the house, because I don't know what to do with them either. So I stuffed the box of spiders between bags of things that I didn't know what to do with.

Here is the contents of one of those bags:



So tonight I was onthe phone with my sister again, but this time, I thought about the question more carefully. "I've got to get rid of this stuff," I said, "but it's so hard. Like what should I do with this plastic dagger..." "You can't get rid of that!" she said. "How about my ticket stub to the first Harry Potter movie?" "No." she said. I continues, "There's these plastic jumping Lederhosen." Keep 'em!" was her response. And so it went, so I gave up and the stuff all went back in the bag, but of course I cpuldn't figure out what to do with the bag, so I walked around the house carrying it for a while. My spousal unit asked me what I was carrying around and I told him it was stuff I wanted to throw away, "...like this plastic dagger." "You can't throw that away!" he said. "And the plastic jumpy lederhosen, those are too cool." And so it went. (And so all the stuff went back into the study next to the box of spiders and another bag of stuff I don't know what to do with.) What do you do with all that weird stuff that doesn't have a place? I know, I think I'll send my sister a little gift!

12 comments:

captain corky said...

I think I need to start a business where people hire me to come into their homes and throw out stuff. I won't even tell people what I've thrown out when I leave. I'll just hand them a bill and everyone will be happy. At least until they look for something that I've thrown away.

Nessa said...

That is an excellent way to get rid of things and pay your sister back at the same time.

ChrisB said...

When did you sneak into my house for a photo!?!? I not only have my stuff but things the girls don't want to get rid of but don't have room to store themselves!

Woodlandmama said...

You need one of those apothecary thingys with all the little drawers. Then you could put weird labels in the slots like: "Creepy Crawlies," "Pants that Jump," etc.
That or hang everything from the ceiling like Min.

Anonymous said...

Don't you dare send me all that stuff!! But don't throw any of it away...most of it is stuff I snuck into your stocking at Christmas and I would be very hurt if you tossed them. Keep in mind that if I receive a package from you, I'm sending you back the DVD of Bridges of Madison County!!

Guess what!?! The company where I got those jumping Lederhosen pants, now have jumping Lederhosen that yodel!!!

Hee. I love Christmas shopping.

neroli said...

I've got classroom flashbacks---our kids this past year had a serious thing for Walter Wick's I Spy...
sort of like a Joseph Cornell, poured out, yes?
But kitschy ;-)

AfKaP said...

Corjy - I bet you'd sell it for a million bucks - at least I 'd know my comic books would be safe (or else you'd rip me off and tell me you'd thrown them out!

GN - Yeah, but anything I give her usually comes back as a Christmas/Hanukkah. gift the following year of it is at all dubious! There's this yellow bear...

Chris - I cleaned it up now honest!!

Woodlandmama - That sounds great if I could only figure out where to put the apothcary case!

Neroli - Yup lots of kitsch!

Min- Oh boy, oh de lay i oh boy!

Beccy said...

I would just like to say to my mother that I keep telling her she can get rid of my stuff as long as she doesn't tell me what it is. Then I'll never miss it!

Unknown said...

I'm just not getting past the Vanicream and how it's applied artistically. LOLOL.

AfKaP said...

Beccy - Yes O agree except you always need those things after you can't find them any more!

TL - The vanicream is for after Art applications!!

Anonymous said...

big plastic tubs in the closet.. thats wherei keep em;)

AfKaP said...

WB - There's no room in my closets! They're full of plastic tubs!!