A Little Compassion

Okay, yeah, ... so I'm doing this funky thing - I had a colleague complain about my attitude and so with a little soul searching and the Guide to Modern Self Help Fads, I decided I needed to work on my compassion. Evidently scathing looks and eye-rolling doesn't go over well in response to workplace improvement brainstorming sessions where colleagues suggest wearing cute little nametags with frogs on them or that everyone could wear a funny hat on Tuesdays or maybe projecting Everybody Loves Raymond on the ceilings during business meetings and lunch and coffee breaks.

Anyway, it seemed like maybe I could try to dig up a tiny iota or so more compassion for my co-sufferers at work, so I did what any mis-atuned person of my generation does when she needs help - I cruised the internet for advice. Why did I feel like I was at that same brainstorming meeting above? Since I can't google anymore without them storing my data, I web-searched the topic and learned oh so much! I found links to how to sponsor a Christian child, self-hypnosis and Gaddafi. (Okay, so he did wear some cool funny hats that would be great for Top-hat Tuesdays, but I won't, won't, won't roll my eyes! Well, okay, maybe just a little!)


There was stuff on finding compassion in 40 days, but I'm kind of in a hurry, so even the site that promised it in 37 days didn't really appeal to me. Whatever happened to Instant Karma?

I finally settled on morning affirmations in which I awaken in the morning being thankful that I wasn't born an earthworm and trying to affirm that I will open my heart to the most sadistic of buzzards around me and feel their suffering. Somehow the idea of trying to feel others pain doesn't strike me as the way to behaving more nicely, though. So this morning I settled in to meditate and FEEL the suffering of my arthritic Aunt Minnie. Then I ended up cussing out the mailman for ringing the bell and making me have to walk to the door cause my knees hurt so bad. Okay, so I admit, I have a long way to go (and believe me, it ain't easy with arthritic joints!)

After affirming right and left this morning that (Ommmmm) I would not get angry, (Ommmmm) I would not be critical and (Ommmm) I would open my heart to the suffering of others, I checked my email and found this!


Okay, now I know I am supposed to open my fourth Chakra to these people that can't find anything better to spend a normal person's yearly income on than a canvas handbag from France, but help me out here, I'm having just a little trouble with this. (Ommmm) Must have compassion for Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga. I had to ask myself, why would they be suffering? Well, in all fairness, I couldn't find a Birkin Handbag on the web for $50,000. Clearly I was over-reacting! I did find this ostrich bag that actually sold for $27,500. (Ommmmm)!


So I suppose I should probably feel their pain for having paid retail! So it was back to the meditation pillow! Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

You know, I think I'm getting it. I meditated on this for a while and realized, how can I NOT have compassion for someone stuck with such an ugly, bright orange handbag made from bumpy bird skin or for someone stupid enough to spend that much for a purse! Wouldn't the Dalai Lama be proud of me! Oh wait, I forgot we are supposed to eschew pride. I guess he wouldn't.

So, hey, except for that last part, this compassion stuff is really working! Now I've turned my attention to politicians! Do you realize the pain felt by Newt Gingrich from all that negative campaigning produced by Mitt Romney and from not getting to hear debate applause!? Or how awful it must feel for Mr. Romney to not get to pay his fair share of taxes!? Oh gosh, and the reduced salaries of all those Wallstreet bankers since the financial crisis! I never realized how much suffering there was in the world! And here I was worried about the low brain wattage of my co-employees! So, bring on the frog name tags and those funny hats! Everybody loves Raymond! My meditation techniques are bringing me to new talents - Do you think one can learn how to roll the mind's eye! Don't you think the cosmos does?