A cold, cold world

My husband tends to be more open minded than I about most things - he's always ready to send $29.95 to Ron Popeel for the newest invention and when the Bach Flowers person says to put vinegar under your tongue to cure elephantiasis, he's ready to try it out.

Not me! I want DRUGS!

More than 20 years ago when I was living in Germany I found a cold remedy at the pharmacy that worked beautifully. No sniffles no cough and the whole thing was over in just a couple of days. It was great! I've been looking for that Eldorado ever since.

So when I caught this eensy weensy little cold and then it turned like a werewolf at full moon into a not so tiny but monstrous thing, I was ready to continue the search. Surely in 20 years science had come up with some clinically proven boon to alleviate at least the symptoms of sufferers of the common cold! (Yes, I know that no one yet has cured the common cold).

So, I insisted my husband drive me through the throngs of frustrated gift-buyers to the drug store to take a look at the newest offerings. Holy Canoli, Batman! There were only about a thousand products lined up and down across a whole aisle!Well, let the work begin! I only had one requirement - new modern product - well, okay that and no acetaminophen. I immediately threw out anything with Pseudofed (sick!) in it as that stuff has never done anything for me. I vetoed all the new improved versions of all the old standbys and then got down to the 854 products that were left. I even had to enlist the help of my husband for this part (and maybe that was my fatal error).

By the time we had weeded through all those medications and eliminated those containing tylenol, we were down to one brand:



It sounded good. Of course it was more expensive than I wanted to pay for an experiment, but all those TV drug ads had had their effect on me and it sounded so much like those marvelous medications that cure ED, COPD and FXSTD that I felt sure this was the one.

I got it home and eagerly picked up the package - oh my word! What was that on the bottom corner?! It couldn't be, but it was:



Homeopathic! NOOOOOOOOOO! I'd gotten some ancient, old wives' tale, phony-baloney, snake-oil remedy!! (And of course I didn't even know about the lawsuit for anosmia then!!) What was I going to do!! It was two days before Christmas eve and we had already slogged through the crowds and cars and dis-spirited people to get these pills. I couldn't face going back. I just couldn't!! "Oh, go on, give it a try!" said my eternally optimistic husband. So I read the instructions and took the dive (er...pill).

Well, all I can say is that stuff works great!! I've had less congestion and almost no coughing and usually my body likes to host a cold for around two weeks. I've been able to think and get things done and even if the cold does last two weeks, it is a relatively minor discomfort compared to two days ago. I guess those old wives knew a thing or two!